Wedding Etiquette, Customs and Ethics:

Etiquette means socially fit conduct that makes everyone comfortable. This includes procedures to be followed and conduct of the participants at a gathering. A wedding is no different. Certain etiquette followed will ensure all attending are comfortable and have good and happy memories of the event.

Wedding etiquette includes everything from the planning to the “Thank you” cards. Cultural differences, traditions and individual preferences will influence various decisions that need to be taken. With changing times traditions might be overrun by convenience. The best to do in such situation is to discuss with family members and friends before making the decision. This article will discuss some of the general wedding etiquette.

Planning for the wedding needs to be meticulously done so that the special day is perfect. One of the most important things is setting the budget. Traditionally the bride’s family bears the expenses for the wedding and the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner. In current times with the couples earning, they share most of the expenses. It would be best if the couple speak with both families and decide on who will pay for what. There is one aspect of tradition which still holds well, the bride buys the groom’s ring and the groom buys the bride’s ring.

Once the wedding date and location has been decided it is considered good practice to send out a “save the date” card to the guests. In this busy world an advance notice is good. The card needs to be simple with just the names of the couple and the date, time and location of the wedding. Care needs to be taken that everyone who receives a “save the date” card is sure to receive a wedding invitation.

The wedding invitations usually are issued by the parents who would be paying for the wedding. But again, if the bride and groom think otherwise and it is agreeable by the parents, both sets of parents can be included in the invite.

Money should never be asked for as gift on the invitation. If at all the bride and groom feel money would be the most appropriate gift they could get, this should be let known through word of mouth.

The most important people at the wedding include the bride, the groom, the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, the maid of honor, the best man, the bridesmaid, the groomsmen, flower girls the ring bearer and of course the guests. Each of them has a role to play and they need to follow certain etiquette.

The maid of honor is usually the bride’s sister or a very close friend. She is always by the bride’s side both before and during the wedding. Organizing and taking care of the bridesmaids, helping with pre-wedding parties, keeping track of invitations, gifts and thank you cards are only a few of her responsibilities. On the day of the wedding the maid of honor helps the bride and bridesmaids get ready. During the ceremony she carries the groom’s ring, and holds the bridal bouquet during the ring exchange. Along with the best man, the maid of honor helps the wedded couple to leave. An important thing that the maid of honor should remember is that the bride is the most important person.

The bridesmaids are usually close friends and family members. They help in running for errands. On the wedding day the bridesmaids are part of the processional and recessional march. They stand near the bride during the ceremony.

It is nice to have one or two flower girls for the ceremony. It would look nice if they are the same size, usually girls between four and eight years of age. They walk in front of the bride during the processional and in front of the maid of honor during the recessional.

Just like the bride has her friends and family attending to her, the groom too has his men in waiting. The best man helps the groom get dressed, drives him to church and is right beside him through the ceremony. The best man oversees the groomsmen and ushers and makes sure all the guests are comfortable. If the couple has decided not to have a ring bearer, the best man keeps the bride’s ring till the time for exchange of rings. He offers the first toast to the bride and the groom.

Both the maid of honor and the best man may be required to sign the marriage certificate as witnesses.

The parents of the bride and groom need to finalize on the guest lists and see that it fits in the budget. The bride’s mother is given the privilege of first selecting the dress for the wedding. Once she has finalized on her dress she should immediately let the groom’s mother know the color and style. The groom’s mother needs to complement the color and style of the bride’s mother’s gown. Her gown shouldn't match the color of both the bridesmaids’ and the bride’s mother’s gown but should complement them.

Personalized thank you cards are something the couple should not miss. It is a sincere way of showing the guests you appreciate them coming and also their gifts. It is appropriate to send the thank you cards within 2 weeks after returning from the honeymoon. If the couple receives any gifts in advance, then it should be acknowledged immediately.

Finally the guests too need to follow certain etiquette. Never be late to the wedding. Dress appropriately. Only the bride is expected to be in white. Also make sure children are invited before you bring them. Even if a guest is unable to attend the wedding it is considered appropriate to send a gift.